When We Were Young
by Infinite-Eternal
Summary: "I won't tell anyone...I promise." Mature. Slash.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- Hello there :3 This is my first story. I like the idea of pairing Johnny and Ponyboy from **_**The Outsiders,**_** and this story is slash :P! I'm not sure how many chapters this will be, but I will definitely update frequently. Please review and let me know what you think of it. Constructive criticism is always welcome.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own **_**The Outsiders **_**or any of the characters. Just the plot of this story.**

"**When We Were Young": Chapter ONE**

**PONYBOY**

I woke up early that Saturday morning, excited for the following day. Johnny and I were going to have a sleepover at his house. Of course, I got a full-on speech from Darry about how most teenage boys don't have "sleepovers", and we'd had to wait until Johnny' parents were gone. To Johnny's fortune, but to his parents' _mis_fortune, they had to visit his grandmother. She'd developed cancer almost half a year ago, and she wasn't doing too well. Johnny would have his home to himself for a few weeks.

"**YOU! You stay here! We need don't need you embarrassing us in front of your almost-dead grandmother!"**

Johnny's father had never been fond of him, and he was saddened by the fact that he might not see his grandmother again. Johnny said being able to have me sleepover sounded amazing, though. Just like old times. So it was mentioned. And it was planned. And it was happening this morning.

I excitedly packed a suitcase full of the few things I had: a toothbrush, some clothes, hair grease, and…my lucky stuffed elephant my parents had given me on my fourth birthday. I couldn't wait to sleepover at Johnny's! All last night I imagined all the fun stuff we could do together. I couldn't wait to wake up with him, and eat with him, and hang out with him…and bathe with him, and sleep with him…and make out w...

Johnny doesn't know I gots feelings for him. Neither does anyone. I'd be skinned alive if anyone found out that I was gay…but I love Johnny, and I always have. I've loved him since I was, like, four. He'd always hold me and touch me like I was his little doll. His beautiful golden skin, his slim build, his big brown eyes, and his soft, greasy, black hair. He'd always been so close to me throughout our friendship. I've known I've always loved him, but it wasn't 'til recent that I realized I had an attraction ta'im. When he'd held me through the night and talked to me after I had another nightmare about my parents…gosh I'm so hopel-

**KNOCK. KNOCK.**

"Pony! You ready to leave yet?" Johnny yelled from outside the door of our small home.

"Yeah, I'll be out in just a sec!"

"Don't do nothin' stewpid, ya'ear me?"

"Don't worry Darry, I'll try'n use my head"

"Have fun! Love ya'!" Sodapop yelled. Golly, he was a sweetheart.

Before I could exit the door, Two-Bit and Dallas entered our house at the usual time they do. Dallas was eating a banana, and Two-Bit was laughing hysterically at something Dallas must've done.

"Okay, shut the fuck up, dumbass. It ain't even that funny." Dally spat at Two-Bit

"Ahah! Wow, Dally I didn't know you played for that team!" Two-Bit hollered a **homosexual **joke, tears seeping from his bright eyes. I felt my face heat up and redden while Johnny sat there in an awkward stance. Everyone else was just laughing up the place. Dally didn't seem too amused though and scowled.

"Two-Bit. Psh. More like Dim-Wit. Hell outta my way, man," Dallas strutted to the sofa.

Johnny chuckled a little and motioned me to come so we could finally leave. In the distance we'd walked from the house, I could faintly hear Dallas.

"Y'know, I oughtta kick your ass. But I won't. Not 'til I finish this 'nana"

"AHHAHAH! Or 'til the banana helps you finish, right?! Whichever comes first!"

I could **never **tell anyone how I felt for Johnny! If that's the way they joked with scary-ass Dally when they knew he wasn't gay, they'd murder me!

I was snapped out of my thoughts when Johnny's arm brushed against mine.

"Man, Two-Bit better cool it with Dally. He'd gottsa know what Dally can do when he's angry."

We made it to Johnny's aged, beaten house. It was small and it reeked of the scent of the stench cigarette smoke trying to be eliminated with cheap air fresheners. But I didn't mind much, considering the love of my life was standing not 2 inches from me. He beckoned me to the couch. I took a slow seat next to him. I swallowed and nearly melted when he bit his lip, looked down, and rubbed his arm nervously.

"So, Pony. What should we do?", he mumbled a low, husky tone.

"I don't know," I scooted closer to him, smiling softly.

"You hungry?"

"Yeah, whats'ya got?"

"Well, uh not much I'm _allowed _to eat, but I'm sure my parents will understand if I do since they didn't leave me no money to get food,"

I nodded fakely knowing good and well his parents wouldn't give him a break. But I _was_ hungry.

"C'mere, pick out what you want." He offered.

I looked through his refrigerator, feeling his body radiating heat close behind me, his breathing on my neck. I purposely scooted back a bit to get closer to him. I misjudged the force I exerted backwards and nearly toppled him over. He quickly grasped my forearm and my waist before we fell, and I gasped, embarrassed.

He licked his lips and smirked, helping me stand up.

"Easy Pone…" he moaned.

Then, I did something my heart was telling me to do, but my mind was scolding me for thinking about. I gave him an open-mouth kiss to his lips. He sucked on my mouth a little and lowered himself to my height. I grabbed his waist and gently rubbed up and down on his side. I grinded my hardened part on him. I must've taken it too far. He disconnected our lips, looked away, and let go.

"Joh…Johnny I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinkin'"

"Yeah I dunno what you was thinkin' either…" He grounded out, seemingly angry.

Dammit Pony, whys'ya gotta go pourin' your feeling all over your buddy an. I furrowed my auburn eyebrows and grasped my arm.

"Can we just get somethin' to eat now? I'm sorry…" I asked, tears comin' down my cheeks. His expression softened.

**JOHNNY**

I had to stop myself from letting Pony get any further. Lord knows I would've taken him right then and there. While I was kissing him, all I could think about was all the dreams I'd had of him…Pony laying naked below me, my lips to his neck, my cock rubbing onto him. Hearing him pant my name "Johnny…uhh..uhhh! Johnny..yeah…" Him laying sprawled beneath me, me rubbing his hardened cock, his eyes rolling back and his soft, toned chest rising from his uncontrollable breathing. Ecstasy.

Right now, I was thinking about all the times I'd tried to touch him from when we was young to now. I'd rub his body and see if he liked it. He, being ten at the time, was naïve and moaned loudly and didn't know I was giving him more than just a "buddy massage". And all those times I'd kiss him in his sleep, him stirring and smiling like the angel he is. I'd try and walk in on him when he'd was getting changed.

"**Hey! Y'know, it's not nice to walk in on me while I'm changin'!" He chuckled, his 12-year-old, pre-pubescent body shaking violently as he rolled, laughing naked on my bean bag chair. **

There'd been so many instances I'd discreetly tried to love him: tickle fights, tight hugs, kissing his cuts, showering with him. The list goes on. I'm surprised he hasn't brought it up to me or even realized I did it all those year yet. He's too old for that now, and he'd surely shun me.

**PONY**

During the time I'd been looking through his pantry, silence between us, I'd started recalling all those times we'd shared when we were younger. I wanted desperately to share those same moments again.

**Thank you, please review **


	2. Singing and Cherries

**A/N- Hey :P Here's another chapter of "When We Were Young". I only got a few reviews but oh well :D. Thank you to those of you who did read and review! I'm glad you guys enjoyed it because I am too :). Again, constructive criticism is welcome. Also, I think I'm going to update this every other day if can. Okay, read on.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders or any of the characters. Just the plot of this story.**

"**When We Were Young": Chapter TWO**

**PONYBOY**

Although I was upset thinking of how my relationship with Johnny has changed, I decided that I didn't want to starve to death, so I picked out some food. Johnny raised his eyebrows and chuckled some when he saw my choice of cherries and peanut butter.

"Oh, Pony, you've always had quite the diverse appetite," Johnny smirked at me, his chocolaty eyes sparkling as he finished his statement.

"Aheh, it's not weird!" I grinned from ear to ear, "We used to always eat this when were in middle school,"

I glided over to his cabinets and grabbed an old porcelain plate to put our food on. Sitting the plate down on the tacky green table, I sat down and began setting it up, making the juvenile meal look like it was cooked by that of a gourmet chef. Johnny quickly ruffled a hand through my hair, pulled a chair next to me, and sat close at my side. I could feel his eyes on my hands as I shakily placed the cherries on the plate. Glory, I could feel his warm, deep breathing on my face.

"Pony, you're shakin' like a leaf…"Johnny mumbled lowly.

"Blast it, Johnny, I can't focus when you're eyein' me like a hawk," I retort trying to sound like I was upset and not insanely nervous.

"Hey," Johnny slowly stretches an arm around my lower back, his hand gently rubbing my side. I breathe out, moaning a little when his warm fingers momentarily touch my skin, "relax," He whispers into my ear. His lips softly graze my ear with every syllable he utters. When he gives my ear a slow, gentle kiss, I close my eyes. It's too easy to bask in his warmth and his presence. Goose bumps threaten to cover my entire body as I feel an all too familiar pressure forming between my legs. I'm not sure if what he was doing was just a friendly gesture or not. I mean, we've been this close since we were young, but it's never affected the way it is now. Johnny slowly let me go. He looked into my eyes, and I looked into his. Then he looked away, his face clad in a deep shade of red, and he puts his hands in his lap. Without thinking, I put a cherry next to his face, comparing their colors.

"Hahah! Johnny, you manage to be redder than a darn cherry!" I'm laughing so hard that I'm not breathing, howling at the ceiling with my hand grasping my stomach.

"Yeah, yeah, get your jollies…hurry up with them cherries,"

After a moment or two, the plate is a beautiful presentation of shiny crimson cherries and smooth, tan peanut butter.

"Well, let's eat!" I holler with a wide grin, flailing my arms around in the air like a toddler having his first taste'a some sodapop.

Johnny grabs a cherry, biting his lip and looking at me with a look that says "'_**bout time!". **_He sticks the cherry between his top and bottom front teeth, and bites down with his mouth open. Cherry juice splatters on my face and neck! I smile and close my eyes, shielding them from the spray.

"Golly, Johnny, even your cherry juice wants me…" I mumble in a low, sexy tone.

Johnny leans down to my neck and slowly licks the juice off.

"Wouldn't want that to go to waste…" His head slowly looks up at me, his breathing heavy, and he licks his lips. He's trying to look fearless, but it's evident in his eyes that he's terrified. I just look down at him, my mouth open in surprise, and eyes glazed with lust, but mostly surprise, hah. I figured I'd change the mood, so I prance over to his raggedy couch with a cherry in hand. The sofa squawks angrily at me as I plop down on it, as if it's a sleeping cat whose tails has just been stepped on. I quickly eat the cherry, and I keep the stem. I put it in my mouth and try to maneuver it with my slick tongue and teeth. I successfully create a cherry knot, and I grin to myself as I look down at it sitting on my tongue.

"Hmph! Hey Johnny! 'Member this?" I squeak excitedly, thinking of my first chocolate sundae with Johnny. It'd been a messy day, as can be imagined. But Johnny always helped me get cleaned up.

"Ay, ya' still remember how'da that..." Johnny smiles, impressed, taking a seat next my head. Laying my back on the couch, I look up at him through long, autumn lashes smiling a teethy smile. He pokes my hard stomach causing me to hurl the knot out my mouth. I just laugh quickly, embarrassed of my slobbery cherry stem landing right on his face. The stem slips down his face and his tongue grapples onto it, pulling it into his mouth.

"Mmm…," Johnny moans, "it tastes like you, Ponyboy…"

He leans back against the couch, looking up to the ceiling.

**JOHNNY**

Twirling Ponboy's cherry knot around in my mouth, savoring its delightful touch, I appear to be gazing up at the ceiling. However, I'm really looking into Heaven. My own personal Heaven where I have Ponyboy in my hands. He slowly sits up, biting his lip while watching me, intrigued by my statement.

"Whaty'u mean it tastes like me…" He questions, looking like he desperately wanted to know more.

I leave my paradise to look down at him. He still looks as ravishing as he always has: his brown-red toned hair slightly falling over his smooth, creamy skin, his aquamarine eyes glossy behind long lashes, and his plump pink lips slightly parted. He's leaned against the arm of the couch with his long, blue-jean-clad legs curled next to him, and his arms at the side of his small but shaped torso. He's telling me something, but I can't hear him. All I can focus on now is the way his hand is gently grazing up and down the front of his stomach, his shirt partially revealing his sculpted abs. His eyes are now closed, and he's singing a song that he and I used to love. His voice is beautiful and raw, but soft. He seems lost in himself singing. I can see his fingers twirling in the light trail of hair lining down his stomach, past his naval, to behind the button of his jeans, showing how much he has grown since the last time I saw his body. As he sings some more, he smiles at me realizing that I've been staring at him for the past three songs he sang. I realize that the sun has long since set, its golden rays no longer highlighting his perfect face. He yawns tiredly and slowly closes his big, green-grey eyes. I stare for a moment, and he lays there for a moment. After a minute, he becomes a ragdoll, and his head falls to the side. He's an angel as he begins to emit a light snoring, his mouth open just a bit.

I stand up, lightly scooping him into my arms, knowing my that the springy, wooden couch isn't the most comfortable place for slumber. I realize I'm not sure where to put him. Ah, he could sleep in my parents' bed. It's pretty comfortable, and it's big too – king sized. Perfect for the beautiful king he is. Turning the knob to my parents' bedroom door, I realize it won't turn; it's locked. Aw great. Now whatima gonna do? There's only one other bed: my bed. We shared a bed a lot when we were younger, but he'd probably think it was weird now. I'd rather him think I'm queer n' weird than him be uncomfortable. I love him too much to let him suffer stiff neck. I walk to my room and gently kick the door open. I attempt to lightly land him on my bed, but he won't let me.

"Don..Don't let go…" he muttered the same words he said when I held him through his nightmares, a pained expression on his perfect face.

A glossy tear escapes my eye and falls on his neck. He finally releases his grasp from my neck, his dream thoughts surely shifting to something else: maybe Cherry Valance, possibly a three- headed, purple monster, perhaps a rumble in which he defeats a Soc with his new-found dream strength. Now, he's laying in my bed, under my covers. He's sure to leave that beautiful Ponyboy scent of his. He looks so peaceful. I take off his shoes and socks for him, and I do the same for myself

I roll in behind him, getting as close as possible. He shuffles back a bit, his bottom nudging my already hard cock. I fight to keep a reckless moan from flying out my mouth. My mouth is dry with anticipation, wanting to thrust back on him, but I don't want to wake him. I wrap my arms around his chest, purposely rubbing every inch of him I can. As I used to always do, I give him a good night kiss on his cheek, hovering over his face for a bit, and then I lay back down. I could swear I saw him smile, but it's just the lighting of the room.

I close my eyes, and I let my thought wander to him, hoping that will somehow help me have dreams of him. In my thoughts, he's naked, licking the cum I leaked and squirted on his face, and smiling up at me timidly. Then, against my will, my thoughts shift from one thing to another, and then I'm dead asleep.

**PONYBOY**

I smile to ma'self, feeling Johnny's sweet lips pressed to my cheek, a feeling I haven't felt in what seems like ages. I become almost to excited to sleep, but it's just like ole' times.

**Thank you, please review :) **


	3. I Promise

**A/N – Hello, here is third and **_**final**_** chapter of "When We Were Young". Again, I really appreciate the reviews :) They make my day! The story gets a little disturbing here, okay :( ? I'm sorry my mind is weird. I'm sorry for such a short story! But I think it ends well here…I dunno what else to say…enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders or any of the characters. Just the plot of this story.**

"**When We Were Young": Chapter THREE**

**PONYBOY**

I woke up the next day, shaken up by my dream of a talking doll telling me to kill myself. I could tell it was early by the orange rays of the dawn sun painted on the bed. Wait…a bed? It made sense when I noticed the long, thin arms wrapped snug around my waist. Johnny's face was against my back, as well as his morning wood. I looked at his erect member, longing to help him get off, I laughed inside my head knowing Johnny probably went to bed daydreaming about Cherry giving him head or somethin'. I gently removed Johnny's arms from around me. His big brown eyes fluttered open and he smiled tiredly at me.

"Mornin', Johnnycakes," I gave him a good morning kiss on the cheek.

"Mornin' t'you too, Pone. You're up early," He breathed out. Johnny started to get out of bed and put his shirt on. I couldn't help but notice his problem was there. I bit my lip, nervous to mention it.

"Uh, Johnny? You…might wanna take care of that," I slowly stated, motioning to his lower body.

"Ahahg…this is awful embarrassing,"

"Mhmm, having more dreams about me, Johnny?" I teased, winking and grinning at him. I ran over to tickle him, but his face became red and he pushed me away.

"Whatever, Pony. Just get out so I can take care of this…"

I left the room, laughin' at the shame in his voice.

**JOHNNY**

I hopped on my bed and lay down as soon as Pony left. I really _did_ have a dream about him last night. I pulled my shirt, pants, and boxers off and threw them off the bed, trying to recall my dream.

**I felt a warm, moist mouth sucking on my length. I grabbed onto a head full of soft hair and pushed them down lower, thrusting up into their mouth. I look down and saw a face with bright turquoise eyes and soft pink lips appear between my legs. I tried to speak, to ask them why they were doing this, but the words wouldn't leave my mouth. Just heavy breaths and moans. I feel myself being pushed over the edge when the beautiful boy started to swirl a wet tongue around me and lick around my tip. I came hard into his mouth, and he looked caught off guard and embarrassed; his face was a hue that would put the reddest roses to shame. But he swallowed. And he smiled, seeming incredibly happy. I looked down at him apologetically and brought his naked body into my lap, straddling me. He was shaking greatly. His face went into my neck, and he began to place soft, wet kisses down my chest. He started to slowly hump my torso. I could feel his cock on my stomach and I grasped for it…**

I didn't realize I was moaning Ponyboy's name out loud, and I had to put a quick hand over my own mouth, terrified he'd heard me.

**PONYBOY**

I was in shock hearing Johnny shout my name. Was he really touching himself thinking about me? I became too excited for words imagining Johnny loving me back. After all those times we'd spent together, did he always touch me and watch me to pleasure himself?

"**Cake! Johnnycake, can you help me!" I cried out for my best friend, sobbing from the intense pain between my legs. Johnny hurriedly rain over to me.**

"**What is it, Love?" He ran a hand through my hair, holding me close. I pointed to my pajama pants, unsure of how to tell him about my first hard-on. He just smiled and chuckled.**

"**I'm just doin' this to make you feel better, alright Pone? Nothin' else…" He stated strongly, sounded more like he was trying to convince himself rather than me. I nodded, scared of what he was planning on doing. He snaked a shakey hand into my pants. Before I could ask, I felt a warm hand on my lower parts, rubbing up and down. Gosh! This felt soooo good...**

"**Oooh…Johnny, your hands feel so nice…uuhh…Johnny, go a lil' faster, please.."**

**I gasped, surprised at the white, warm liquid coming from my body. Johnny just licked it up, enjoying the sweet substance.**

"**Ponyboy, you taste sooo good…"**

I moaned softly, recalling the night of my ninth birthday. He told me I was an early bloomer, but he said he didn't mind. It made him love me even more.

It was a hot day today. Ninety-seven seven degrees, man it was only the middle of spring, and it was already getting this hot. I suggested to Johnny that we should go to the pool on Wales Ave. It wasn't too far a walk, and it was better than sitting around melting in his house. He was reluctant to tag along; I knew it was the fear of showing his bruises and scars. His eyes lit up when I reassured him that no one ever went to that pool and that if they said anything, I'd beat them up. He didn't seem to want to remove my hand from stroking the top of his hand. We got our bathing suits and some towels.

As soon as I got changed, I hopped into the aquamarine water. It was clear and sparkling. I splashed all over a shy, indecisive Johnny. He was frowning, his arms crossed.

"Johnny…do you...want help?

"Please…" He replied, pleading.

I walked out the pool, dripping water from my body and hair. I crept over to him and he looked at me, teeth tugging on his lips. My face heated up as I slowly pulled his shirt over his head, softly grazing his skin in the process. I could feel his goose-bumps.

"Uhm, you should probably change your pants yourself…heh," I nervously chuckled. He seemed disappointed but agreed. A few minutes later, he came out of the changing stall and awkwardly entered the shallow part of the pool.

JOHNNY

Ponyboy looked beautiful swimming through the water towards me. His fit body cut through the water smoothly as he rushed over to me. His usually greased hair was draped over his face. I laughed at him and he stuck his tongue out at me.

"Johnny…what's wrong man?" the love of my life asked, sounding genuinely concerned. He already knew though. He swam closer to me and a tear escaped his eye. He wrapped his wet arms around me and pulled me into a hug. I held on tight. I could feel the love coursing throughout my body. He gave me a sad smile, and slowly eased his face towards me. I held my breath when our noses touched.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of Johnny…I love you, you know that…"

He pressed a sweet kiss to my lips and let his mouth stay there. His hands were now around my neck, and mine around his waist. Our kissing started to speed up, and we were running out of air. He pulled away to breath, looked up at me and smiled brightly. My face was real hot now. It was starting to get late and cold. We put our clothes back on, a shy silence between us.

"Hey, before we go home, we should go'ta the park," I suggested, wanting to spend more time with Pony. I was feelin' like we really had a breakthrough.

"Ugh…I look all goofy with the grease outta mah hair…" he made a silly face.

"You look perfect," I blurted out quicker than I had planned. Ponyboy grinned like a shy little boy and was teetering on his right foot. I threw on my jean jacket, and Pony tucked in his sweatshirt. We walked to the park, only the sound of distant cars, our breathing, and crickets to be heard. Maybe my heavy breathing and heartbeat, too…

I heard a humming noise, and realized it was from Pony. He was looking out onto the street, looking like he was thinking. He looked so cute with hair all over the place, his hands in his pockets, and his lips move slightly. I fearfully took this opportunity to reach out for his hand. I completed the task by shakily intertwining his fingers in mine. I immediately looked away, flipping out over holding Pony's soft, tiny hand. His fingers moved around a bit and he gave my hand a gentle squeeze. I could see in the reflection of a window that he was looking at me waiting for a response, but I'm pretty sure I wasted all my life source on just grabbing his hand. He started walking closer to me, our hips brushing. I could smell him. He smelled like cherries and love. Or how I'd imagine love smelled like. We finally reached the park. Ponyboy's eyes lit up and he quickly let go of my hand, sprinting over to the old cherry tree we'd spent time at when we were kids. It only had cherry blossoms right now, it being spring n'all. He reached the tree, climbed it to grab a blossom, and sniffed. A grin crossed his face and I could hear him mutter, "Just like old times…"

He then lay down on the grass on his side. I walked over to him and lay down as well.

"I'm guessing you remember this place…" I question, chuckling softly.

"Are you kiddin'? This is – is where we had our first kiss…" He laughs, embarrassed.

**I leaned in and gave Pone a long, passionate kiss, only to have his turn his head and twist his face up, disgusted.**

"**Yuck! I don't even let Soda kiss me!" He hollers and runs to play on a swing set, his 11-year-old mind quickly erasing everything that happened.**

"**Weeeee!"**

I grabbed both of his hands and pulled him to face me.

"Did you mean what you said?"

"…huh?"

Ugh, he's so clueless sometimes.

"You said you loved me…d – did you mean it?"

I'm shivering: from the cold or from the fear? **What's the difference?**

"Ohh…oh….yeah…"

"Oohh"

"Mhm"

"Well…I love you too"

I kiss one of his hands.

"Really?" He rubs my arms.

"Yep"

I kiss his cheek, rubbing his back softly.

"Okay," he grins goofily…ruffling his hair. His eyes are sparkling now, even in the dim lighting of the street lamp. He scoots closer to me and whispers in my ear.

"I already knew you loved me…" and he kisses my head.

I pulled him close to me. _Very_ close. One of my legs is between his, and our chests are touching. He scoots himself into my lap, and I fall back against the tree. He's on top of me now, lookin' down at me with an expression I can't read. But I can feel his body react. He's hard, like he usually is with me. So am I. He rolls his hips on me, fearful eyes staring into my soul. He drops his head back and moans. His eyes close and bites his lip, moving faster. Again, he's lost in himself. My hands reach under his shirt and I rub his chest. His body is warm and fast. He giggles in pleasure. He moans loudly not caring no more. His moans echo throughout the park. I rip off his shirt off even though we're in public. The moon is reflecting a beautiful light onto his pale, toned chest. His body moves animalistically fast, and his once blue-green eyes are now navy blue. His erection painfully stabs at mine. He ain't the greaser I'm used to no more. The one with greasy hair, silly and careless, kinda' smart. He's passionate and in love. I sit below him, rubbing his cock through his jeans.

Suddenly, there's a flash of headlights on us. We both look up, like deer in the middle of the road. The car just passes by, and we let out breaths. I'd already thrown him off of me. He was lying there, shirtless in the grass, lookin' again like a scared greaser.

**PONYBOY**

I think Johnny is finally mine. I crawl over to his disheveled body: scraggly hair, shirt half off and obvious hard on. I give him a long kiss on his stomach, trailing down to his erection.

"We don't gotta' tell no one…I wanna' be with you and love you…I know it's gonna' be hard. It always has been," I beg.

"We can't say nothin'. My parents will kill me…_literally_. The gang would ditch us…I love you too…I wanna' be able to wake up with you, shower with you, feed you, lay with you, hug, touch, rub, feel, hold you. I wanna' see your body. I want to taste your cum and your lips…I want to love you again…"

"Well I wanna' make love to you too…" I mumble shyly.

"I love you so fuckin' much, Pone, I do. I always have. I can't keep my mind off of you. You keep bein' smart and sensitive and funny and screw what Dally or Darry or anyone thinks. I love ya', alright?"

I pull my shirt on, terrified of the whole day.

I love him so much. I want him to touch me again too…

I miss his hands on me, and I miss pretendin' that I'm some dumb greaser lil' boy who don't know what he's doin'…I realize it's been a while since I've thought he's looked like a kicked puppy. His brown eyes were pleading right now though, and the look is back.

I lay down in his lap.

**JOHNNY**

"Why don't you touch me anymore, Johnny?"

"What?"

"Don't play dumb. You used to always touch me. When I'd sleep, you'd rub me and yourself. And you'd shower with me. You'd always wanna' share beds with me and food with me and everything. And you'd kiss my stomach aches away, and you'd hold me tight when I'd have nightmares. I could feel your cock, Johnny…I knew what you were thinking about…"

"You didn't like it…? I was only trying to make you feel good P – "

"Shut up!" he was bawling now.

"You made me gay! You made me this way! Now I can't help but love you and want you to fuck me! You're disgusting!"

"Pony, quiet down…"

"NO. How dare you take advantage of me?! I thought you really wanted to be my friend…but you just wanted me to suck your cock or eat birthday cake off of your tongue or wrestle with you naked!"

He tried to beat me with his fists, but he was too overwhelmed. He'd completely broken down. I love him to death, I swear. I should have never dragged him into my helpless, disgusting love.

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! - I love you…soo much…"

And with that he kissed my lips, his tongue entering my mouth. He sucked hard on my tongue, and separated, a string of saliva between us.

He looked dead. Not like happy, stupid, weird Ponyboy. But like a ruined Pony. Ruined by me. So much potential **killed** by me. I made him grow up too fast, and masturbate too fast, and kiss too fast and…I've been blocking out the memories I didn't want to remember, but I couldn't help them when they came flooding back. Imagine…he's been living with those memories since he was **four**.

"**Johnny…Johnny stop!" His beautiful shrieks fill my ears as he tries to escape my grasp. My kisses land sloppily on his face. His blue, eight-year-old eyes struck with fear of someone he thought was his best friend.**

"**Aghh!" he gagged. His six-year-old mouth too tiny for my cock to fit. I didn't care.**

"**Johnny, we shouldn't be doing this…you know that…" Tears falling from his gorgeous eyes, down his sexy face. Looks like twelve years old is too old for him to be ignorant to this. I kept his hand on my cock, not caring.**

"**Ahhh!," his pain filled shrieks filled my entire room. I told him that his first time wouldn't be **_**that**_** bad…hahh and he believed me. His eyes were a waterfall of tears. I couldn't keep my eyes off his beautiful, glossy eyes, his smooth stomach, his milky shoulders, his luscious lips. His auburn hair beckoned my hands. I was in heaven as my cock was submerged in him. His face looked like he'd just been stabbed.**

"**I…I love you Johnny"**

**He's completely lost it.**

**I did as I always did: covered his mouth, smiled, and looked into his eyes. I mutter the same four words as usual.**

"**Shh…don't tell anyone…okay?" He didn't respond. He never did.**

All the stars were out now. Not a sound could be heard. Not even his breathing. He was dead, remember? Numb. He doesn't need water or air or sleep or anything. He has me.

He laid his head back down on my lap and closed his eyes.

"I won't tell anyone…I promise."

**Thank you for reading.**


End file.
